21st Birthday
During the week of my 21st birthday, my professor in Occupational Therapy 100 introduced the concept of Ikigai to us. Ikigai, a cultural and philosophical concept rooted in Japan, means a person's "the reason of being," also known as your purpose in the world.
But when Professor Lopez asked me the question, "What's your purpose?" I blanked out. There’s no better time to ask a newly turned 21-year-old about her life’s purpose than when she’s just been granted legal access to booze and cigars.
Jokes aside, I told my partner in class, “the purpose of life is to find that purpose, right?”
Navigating your 20s in today’s social media boom is extremely hard. One moment you're enjoying life, the next moment you're bombarded with peer-pressure-infused posts about how a 20-year-old across the world built the next AI engine and had everything figured out. Their stories sound like fate, but such fate seems distant from yours.
My friend Nancy baked me a birthday cake. :)
But being in your 20s is hard overall. Gosh, how am I going to choose which bottle of wine to get when I first step into that liquor store? Gosh, “now I have to balance work, academics, future, and social life altogether while still trying to get 8 hours of sleep?”
It’s in these moments that reality hits you and demands decisions. Just like when I had to share with my partner what my purpose in life was after being given only five seconds to think, I went with, “the purpose of life is to find that purpose.”
But that really is my honest answer. The truth is, I just don’t know yet.
I believe your purpose in life is one of those things you can only know at the end of the road; for example, your deathbed. I read online about an analogy describing life as an onion before. It says when you grow into a new age, your old age doesn’t get replaced; instead, it lives within you. Like an onion with its many layers, your past selves are wrapped within you, coexisting with each new age. I really adored that analogy.
To build on that, I’d like to use the analogy of a tree. Every year you grow older, you add a new tree ring that symbolizes your growth. As a tree, your trunk gets wider, your branches — your connections to the world — grow longer and denser. Over time, your roots might intertwine with other trees’ roots. And by the end of your life, you’ll realize that tiny seed has grown into a massive tree. Whether it’s a palm tree in Miami or a California redwood, you’ll never truly know your purpose — or who you are — until you’ve actually and eventually, grown up.
This past year has challenged me in ways I never expected or imagined. But from another perspective, it was also incredibly rewarding. I now see my life as fulfilling, enriching, and something the ambitious 14-year-old Kally might have longed for.
When Professor Lopez nudged us to understand our Ikigai better by completing a related worksheet, I realized there was an overlap between what I’m good at and what I love: writing, expressing my feelings, and telling my stories. Coincidentally, I thought about how, in this past year, I picked up journaling again, spoke at two open mic events hosted by LaLaFeminist, and received some good feedback.
“Huh. So I have been doing this.”
Like a detective, I’ve been connecting more dots in my life and realizing that I’ve gotten this far because of all my past instinctive decisions. So I guess, as I figure out my purpose in life, I should leave behind the hesitations and trust myself more? Have a little more faith in me, believing that I, too, will figure it out?
Since growing up is inevitable, I can only wish to grow a wider trunk and denser branches in this new era called my 20s. It’s a time for persistent growth and messy exploration.
Brighter days ahead, and always, cheers!